Yesterday, September 20th, 2010, at about 5:30 or so, my family sustained a very painful loss: one of our dear doggie friends, Patsy, was put down. I knew it was coming; several months ago I took her to the vet to have a small tumor on her belly checked out, and he told me that it was likely a mammary tumor, and that she may or may not have cancer. He gave me the price of having the lump removed and biopsied; sadly, it was way over what I and my family would be willing or able to spend on an aging dog. So, as the months went by, the tumor continued to grow, Patsy kept slowing down, and it became obvious that yes indeed our girl had the dreaded cancer. She was sleeping more, wanting to be outside less. I started to prepare myself for her death, as did my family. This last Friday, we came to the decision that it was time for her to go. The tumor had begun to ulcerate and stink, making it difficult to have her with us, much as we loved her. She also no longer wanted to go on walks with us (which for Patsy was unheard of. She ALWAYS wanted to go for a walk. :) ) and mainly just wanted to be left alone on her bed inside. I think that she had given up on living.
I will be honest and say I have been fighting it. I'm very much an animal lover, and having one of my "kids" die is heartbreaking. (I'm not saying it isn't for everyone else; I'm speaking about my own feelings here. :)) I'm also a great believer in allowing an animal to live until they don't want to anymore. My family has been very good at working with me in that aspect. They understand how I feel, and so don't push me to allow an animal to be put down until I'm ready. I'm very thankful for that. It makes my grieving much easier to bear.
I really do believe that we did the right thing in having Patsy put down. Cancer is a terrible, painful disease, and life for her would have been nothing but misery if we had let her live much longer. That's another thing I believe strongly in: don't allow an animal to suffer. Either treat their illness or put an end to it once and for all. In the long run, it's better for everyone.
I will never forget Patsy. She wasn't the "funnest" of dogs, but she sure was lovable! She wouldn't fetch, wouldn't romp, wouldn't really do any tricks unless you had a treat for her. But she was loyal, came every time I called, sat with me when I was sad,...the list goes on. She had large, beautiful hound eyes. I won't ever forget those. She loved to run and chase things, and in her younger years I saw only one dog ever catch up to her.....even then she got away. :) The deer got so used to her chasing them that they wouldn't even run that far or fast when she came after them; it almost seemed as if they enjoyed staying just out of her reach, although she would never have hurt one if she had caught up! One time she caught a sick jackrabbit (yes, a real one...it was a long, ugly, skinny thing!) and then brought it to us unhurt; she looked so confused about having actually caught one! Another time she brought us a tiny, baby cottontail bunny. All of our pets were her pets, too. Our rabbits knew they were safe with her, my parakeets were unafraid to ride on her back (even when she accidentally took one outside; thank goodness I had clipped it's wings!), the cats adored her. When Paddy and Tommy were kittens, Patsy let them sleep with her in her bed on our porch. She even gave out free face washings! Paddy never did learn to like that part. ;) Tommy, on the other hand, would snuggle up and lick her face. As the kittens got older, Patsy liked to tease them by chasing them around the yard, but it was all in good fun. I don't ever remember Patsy hurting any animal. She was a true angel in that sense. :) Saying good-bye to all the above was hard. Seeing that limp body being carried away was harder. But at least I know that we gave Patsy the best home we could, and that her life was a full and happy one.
Thank the Lord for dogs!! Even though they break your heart sometimes, they add way more pleasure then sorrow to life.
~E
